are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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