But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
