I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
