I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
