Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
