ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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