its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
