So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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