i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
