he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize