My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
