Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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