oh god the rape fog is back!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize