I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
