i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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