I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
