I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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