SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
