Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
