you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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