what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
