i can't believe i had my finger in that
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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