Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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