Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
