my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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