Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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