if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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