I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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