What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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