Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
