It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize