I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize