i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
