Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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