So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
