soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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