I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize