I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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