we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
