i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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