im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
