i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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