can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
