I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
