i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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