marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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