id be glad to
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
