Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
