big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
