Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
