so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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