He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
