wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
