I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Ketchup is God's man juice
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dicks are not precious.
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