Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
that is very illegal...i love you.
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