So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
