..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize