I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
