i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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