just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
