I think I won the penis lottery.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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