i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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