In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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