So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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