note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
